As we're heading towards the end of the year and it tends to be quite a reflective period, I've been doing a lot of thinking in terms of limits and where I stand with mine. Now, please don't think this is a negative post (because it's not), it's more about accepting that some things can't always be achieved a) immediately or b) at all, which is something I've previously struggled with.
I'm one of those people who has an idea and has to act on it immediately, as I have no patience. Reflecting on the things that may take time or just aren't realistic is something I'm really striving to do now and into 2018. So, in today's post I'm going to chat through the things I've come to realise over the past few weeks.
I've been writing this blog properly for five and a half years now, which is a hell of a long time to stick at a hobby you started on a whim in your early twenties. Looking back, I definitely started it at the right time and I've seen how the blogging world has progressed into jobs and insane opportunities, and I think it's honestly amazing. Who knew typing about what lipstick you like would amount to real income, allowing people to quit their 9-5 jobs and paving the way for a whole generation of gals to work for themselves in a new way. I, personally, have used it to pay the bills and buy myself pretty things for around two-three years now, but I definitely haven't reached the same level as so many of my peers.
But that's ok. This isn't a pity me rant. This isn't me throwing my toys out of the pram or wondering why I'm not one of the popular kids. This is me accepting that I haven't necessarily done enough to keep up, or worked as hard as I should on growing a following or produced the content I wanted. But it's fine. I've spent a lot of time building up other areas of my life - we've bought a house and renovated it which has taken months of my time this year (but it's something I'm very proud of), I worked full time alongside my blogging 'career', I've taken workload off Phil by doing more with pipdig and I'm happy with these decisions.
Ultimately, I've created this blog entirely by myself. Of course I have had to get people to help with photos or site design, but the ideas, actual content and time has been put in by me alone. I'm going to work on accepting my limitations with this and stop thinking of what I could have done, but what I have done and will do in the future.
work balance and money
I divide my time between a few different things: pipdig, this blog, freelance work and looking after the house. I would say it's 60% pipdig, 25% blog, 10% house and 5% freelance work. Because of this divide, I really have to accept that I can't always achieve the blog content I want to simply because I don't have the time. I would absolutely love to put together dreamy blog posts and have everything organised, but sometimes I don't have a photographer or simply don't have the skills or money (yes, money) to produce the work I want - but that's ok.
My blog isn't my primary source of income, yet in my head (because it's my baby), I treat it like it should be and that often makes me very stressed, especially when comparing it to others online who devote 24/7 to it. It's really easy to look at the amount of sponsored work you're doing and convince yourself it's not enough, but it is enough and I need to relax so I can just produce the content I can when it comes to my blog going into next year.
O U T F I T D E T A I L S
TSHIRT: & Other Stories
JEANS: J Brand
BAG: Louis Vuitton
exercise and body hangups
Exercise is something I've always had a love/hate relationship with. I used to go swimming a lot as a teen and always had abs, but when I was around 21-22, I had given that up and the effects of going out out four nights a week and eating pizza caught up with me. I'm 27 now and I haven't really done anything about it since. I mean, I'm still a size 8-10 but there is zero tone left and it's something that occasionally really gets to me.
Scrolling through Instagram or simply remembering how I looked as a teen (I know, it's ridiculous as it's almost a decade later) is something I've been trying to stop over the past few weeks. I would love to have abs again, but it's something I've come to accept will happen very slowly. I need to retrain my brain to think I'm doing this for my benefit, rather than a punishment, and learn to love both my body (no matter what it looks like) and working out for what it does to my mental state rather than my physical appearance.
I've accepted my limits when it comes to this and I know it'll be an ongoing process, but it's one I'm willing to work on as I know the benefits outweigh the negatives.
I'm also going to work on treating myself better when I look in the mirror too. Yes, I have hooded eyes and dark circles and a bump in my nose I wish would go away, but these things are here to stay so I can either accept them or let them eat away at my happiness which I'm not willing to do. I'm going to focus on my positives, as I have high cheekbones and decent eyebrows and good tits, so I really need to stop worrying so much and be kinder to myself.
I know, who cares, right? Me, weirdly. As a platform, I actually really enjoy Instagam and adore how creative people can be with it. It's so inspirational at times, it gives me ideas for outfits, photos, things I'd never thought of but were just what I was looking for, and I also really love working on my own photos.
What I don't love is how the algorithm is screwing everyone - myself and some of my favourite accounts - over. From not seeing posts to it seemingly actively reducing visibility on #ad posts to people unfollowing by the dozens. It all makes zero sense and is causing nothing but frustration, but they're not going to do anything about it, are they? Facebook turns everything to trash, so I'm not surprised, but with every 3rd party system that you use (Instagram, Twitter, Youtube etc) it is ultimately up to them what they do with it. It's something we just have to work with, try to understand and accept.
The positive side of it is that I've actually been enjoying posting and working on my own photos more. I'm liking my current colour scheme and I'm hoping I can continue it past Winter. Going forward, I'm just going to post because I want to post, try not to focus on the followers and relish in the process instead of it being a means to an end.
So, they're the things I've been thinking about recently and accepting a lot of things is definitely the way to progress in my life and career. Dwelling on the past or on things I can't change or things that are out of my control isn't constructive or a positive move, as all it does is negatively impact my mental health. Are you going to work on anything similar going into next year?