TIPS & TRICKS: Care A Little Less

The blogging world is a very fickle place, while the majority are happy for the success of others, there’ll always be a small group who find something anything to bitch about and bring them down. I tweeted a while back about writing this post, which was met with a positive response so apologies in advance for the long rant you’re about to read as I do feel rather strongly about this topic.

When I was about 16/17, I used to be that person who cared about what people wore, used to criticise within seconds and always had an opinion about everything. I suppose I could blame it on being a teen and that age was definitely my rebellious (or so they say) stage, but really, I was just a bitch. A pointless bitch. It was only when I got a bit older that I realised giving a shit about all those things was a complete waste of time. Did it make me happier? No. It made me a very bitter person and I for one am very glad I changed my attitude.

Following on from the GG drama on Twitter (which actually made the blogging community come together for a short period in support, which was really nice to see) there still seems to be a fair bit of sniping, especially in blogger chats. So, I’m writing this post to say who cares? Why do you care if someone has more makeup than you or owns 20 foundations that they’re never gonna get through? What difference does it directly make to your life? You haven’t had to pay for it. Same goes with how much money someone has, or how they always buy high end makeup or expensive skincare. Do you know them or how much disposable income they have? You never know, they might work in a job they absolutely despise and buying that stuff might be the only thing that makes them truly happy, or makes the job seem worth it. Who are you to judge?

It’s the same as when people have a go at ‘big bloggers’ for the content they post or how many PR samples they get. But have you ever thought of how they got there or how they’re able to work with as many big brands or have as many opportunities? I can imagine in the beginning (and now, even) they had to work their butt off, doing posts and videos, networking, going to events and really putting themselves out there and it’s paid off. It makes me sad that people immediately seek to find the fault in people who are successful. I’m not going to say it’s jealousy, as I think automatically accusing someone of being jealous is quite a self-centered cop out, but it’s just really depressing to think that you’ve worked your ass of for people to dislike you for that reason alone.

PR samples are a whole other rant, but briefly, I’ve seen people complain a lot (always in blogger chats!) about ‘big’ bloggers posting about the same things. For starters, they’re probably sent the samples at the same time (if it’s a sample situation, people do buy their own things too!) so they probably will all be writing about things at similar times. Secondly, maybe they’re all writing a positive review because they liked the item? Insinuating that they’re all lying is such a waste of your time. If it’s a good brand and a good product, why wouldn’t the review be positive? And lastly, bloggers influence other bloggers, so if a fellow blogger has gave something a positive review then you might want to go and buy it. I know 90% of my purchases are blogger influenced, so if that means I’m writing a positive review about the same products as other bloggers at the same time, well, then that’s just how it is.

Similarly, I know advertising is an inconvenience on blogs (I will admit I strongly dislike auto-play videos!), but it may also pay someone’s rent or enables them to actually eat that month, so clicking on a few ads won’t kill you and may actually help someone pay their bills. It’s the same with sponsored content, you don’t know their life or why they need the money. Some people have kids, bills or only work part time and may need that extra bit of cash. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s their blog and complaining about it isn’t gonna change that.

Now, I’m not saying stop giving a shit about everything. Things still annoy me, like pointless comments on instagram photos or when people spam you with their link on twitter or follow for follow comments when they haven’t bothered reading your post and that’s ok. Having pet hates is normal, but it’s honestly so freeing once you learn to concentrate more on yourself and less on what other people are doing. I mean, don’t get me wrong, competition is always healthy, but some appear to see every single blogger as some sort of threat instead of focusing on their own work.

If you really, truly don’t like another blogger then stop reading their blog and social media. Why would you want to read all about someone you dislike? It seems so pointless to me. There’s bloggers I’m not that keen on and I just don’t follow them, simple as that. What does hating someone you’ve never met and don’t know anything about (bar what they write on their blog) over the internet achieve? The cryptic tweets are the thing I understand the least, especially when the reply is ‘I’ll DM you’ – if you’ve got a problem with someone, deal with it directly with them instead of being a drama llama and creating an issue on social media. If it’s such a problem that you can only talk about it via direct message, then why bring it up at all? I know there’ll always be people like that, but again, it’s so pointless!

Why can’t we all just support fellow bloggers instead of sniping, bitching and putting others down? It’s not gonna make you more popular or make you achieve the same things they have, only hard work and creating an amazing blog can do that. People put a lot of effort into their blog, even if it might not be to your taste, they might be really proud of it, why would you want to put a downer on that? There’s a big difference between constructive criticism and being nasty for the sake of it, and I wish people would learn that.

So, instead of thinking of the negative in someone’s blog, think of the positive. Go for inspiration, aspiration and what you can achieve if you put your mind to it. Don’t just copy other blogs and hope to have the same success, or bitch because you haven’t received a PR sample and another blogger has. Surround yourself with positivity and you’ll be a much happier person. Taking a step back and appreciate what you’ve achieved so far is
always a good thing to do, too. It makes you reevaluate your aims and
assess what you really want from your blogging experience. Obsessing over other people is such a destructive quality and it’s one I’m so glad I talked myself out before I started blogging, as it would have done nothing good for me. Blogging does rely on its community quite a lot and I know I’m grateful for the support I’ve received over the years and try my hardest to give some of that back. So, we should all stick together, comment on more blogs, share the love, be more positive about each other and try to give a little less of a shit.

And that brings me to the end of my rant, 10 points if you read it from start to finish. I do feel like I’m bitching about bitching, but I hope you all see the positive in what I’m trying to say. Let me know what you think about this topic, I’d love to hear your views.

helen x | twitter | instagram | bloglovin
ps. make sure you check out these two wonderful blogs: Rose Keats and Peacock Beauty!