Hi guys. Ok, let's ignore the fact that I have been AWOL in on the blog for the last 2+ months. It's a classic case of 'life got in the way' and we've been crazy busy with pipdig, custom work and other 'real life' things (some of which will be revealed soon and no, I'm not pregnant/engaged/moving house). I've genuinely missed blogging and keep thinking of 1000 different ideas for blog posts every day, but have zero time to write them and no motivation. When you work on other people's blogs and websites all day, the last thing you want to do is to start writing your own at 10pm. But, I'm going to try really hard to get some posts together and dedicate some time to this space. Even if I just do 1-2 posts a week. Let's see if I can keep this up...
So, today I wanted to talk about the habits I'm trying to quit entirely this year. I've been doing a lot of reflecting (cue eye roll) and thinking about what I want in my life and how I want to change my mindset for the better. My attitude has massively shifted towards non-material things and what's actually important in life. I'm finding it easier than ever before to let things go and being able to pinpoint what I want with certain short-term aspects of my life. Though as a whole I have absolutely no idea and have zero goals (but that's ok!).
1. Impulse Purchases
If you follow me on Instagram, you'll see that I've been doing a lot of clearing out. At the end of last year, I vowed to go into 2019 with less clutter and I can happily say I achieved that for the most part. There's still things I'd like to get rid of and have things on eBay at the moment (link here), but the process is so much easier now. I am also I'm waiting for other things in the house to be completed first (I still have a kitchen cupboard door in my office etc) and then I'll be able to get rid of even more.
The clutter extended to my wardrobe, too, as it felt full and underwhelming and stuffed with things that did not bring me joy, as Marie Kondo would say. So, it's been streamlined and I've massively curbed my impulse purchasing. I'm so happy to actually have gaps and be able to see my items without anything being jammed in.
Everything I've bought recently has been a considered purchase and one I've thought about for a (long) while before hitting the 'buy now' button. This will hopefully be continued throughout this year and my S/S wardrobe will be functional as well as stylish.
2. Buying Bigger Sizes (and Impostor Syndrome)
I'm not quite in the realms of body dysmorphia, but I've spent quite a while telling myself I look different. That I should always buy the bigger size just incase or to hide myself away because if I have even the slightest hint of a muffin top. I've never been a fan of figure hugging clothes (well, since I was 18) and will always prefer boyfriend fits, but the ~pressure~ of seeing abs all day on Instagram does get to me. I have no idea why, as I wake up with a pretty flat stomach every morning so I need to stop punishing myself asap!
I think this also leads into my rather bad impostor syndrome. Jesus, it's got worse over the past year or so. The annoying thing is I know deep down that I'm perfectly good at my job, I'm creative, I'm good with clients, and yet whenever I have to reply to an email or send over my work, I have to literally force myself to do it or ask Phil to take charge of everything. It makes me stressed to the point that I'm almost hysteric and yet, 9.9 times our of 10, I've done the job perfectly and the client asks for minimal changes! Why do I do this to myself?
3. Food Guilt and Not Taking Care of Myself
We all know the 'rules' for living: eat your vegetables, drink enough water, move every day and check in with your mental health - yet why do I fail to do this? Day after day, I wake up saying I'll do yoga today and yet I pull my jeans on and sit at my desk for 8hrs without giving it a second thought. 'Today is the day I'll start doing a 20 minute HIIT routine 3x a week'... yet here I am in my nice White Company cashmere joggers, eating a mint Lindor and not giving my health a second thought!
I did so well when I went to yoga 3x a week, but the timing wasn't ideal and classes being cancelled threw a spanner in the works so, long-story-short, I haven't been since December. I miss it, yet having the motivation to do it in the house is something I am distinctly lacking. Phil and I did start the couch to 5k app, but he hurt his knee during week 2 so we quit and then it got icy!
I've started meal-prepping/bulk-prepping food each weekend which is good, as I now haven't had a takeaway in 2 weeks because I've always got food made and ready to eat. However, my relationship with snacking isn't so great and I tend to go between saying 'fuck it' and punishing myself whenever I eat something less-than-healthy.
This year I am determined to understand nutrition more (I've purchased this book so far), develop a realistic exercise plan which I can stick to and stop beating myself up so much.
4. Not Being Proactive
Do you know how many jobs I have to finish in the house? A disgusting amount. We started the kitchen almost a year ago and I still don't have a floor and one side still hasn't been tiled. Why? Because I haven't organised it yet.
We went so full force into this flat and I was working on it 7 days a week (5 days with the help of both parents). There was so much work, dust, rubble, painting and general grime that now, if it's not simply placing cute art work on the wall, I'm not interested. It's been an effort. So, now that I have a few things to finish off I've been a bit lacklustre in organising them.
However, I've decided to say 'no more' to my lethargy and have vowed to finish off the rooms that need completing. I organised someone to measure the floor for the kitchen and the hallway last week, I'm going to put together a list of builders to fix the the leak near the windowsill so my dad can finish tiling the other side of the room, I've organised all new internal doors (so happy to have this done!) and I'm going to make a start on planning the bathroom with the hopes of starting it by the end of Feb.
I need to re-teach myself that nothing gets done unless I do it and that starting is the worst part. I despise ringing builders as they're usually patronising and, for the most part, very reluctant to actually do any work, but I'm determined to find someone to help.
Here's to getting off my ass in 2019 and getting shit done!
5. Not Having A Plan
I realised, while everyone was posting their plans for the year, that I have... none. No career goals, no life aims, nothing. But, you get years like that, where you simply have to maintain what you have rather than have a huge list of achievements to tick off.
I would like to finish my flat, as we've lived here for 2 years now and there's only really the bathroom left to do as a major job. Aside that from I do have another project coming up, but that's a whole other ball game and much, much more work.
So, as yearly goals aren't my jam this year ( well, apart from buying a pale pink Chanel...), I've decided that working on daily goals and to do lists is the most productive thing to do. My bad habit is not creating a to do list, as I tend to just potter around and nothing really gets done, but starting the day with clear intentions is doing wonders for my brain! Even if it's as silly as 'vacuum the house' or 'empty the dishwasher', it really helps.
I've started writing my to-do list for the next day the night before and it's so good knowing you've already get this part sorted. It helps me get going in the morning and structures my day so well.
6. Comparison and Endless Scrolling
I am absolutely sick of comparing myself to other people! Why do I do this?
The things I tell myself often:
'Your photos aren't good enough' - you work a minimum of 10hrs a day, your blog isn't your job and it's Winter, stop punishing yourself.
'You're not toned enough' - this is entirely in your own hands, if you want abs, then work for them.
'Your house isn't big enough' - it's your first home and there's only 2 of you, the place is absolutely fine!
I need to remember that I have the power to change anything I want. This definitely ties into being more proactive, but I'm so guilty of sitting and seething rather than doing something about it! I can either let it go or be assertive.
As for scrolling, I've realised I've spent so much of this year scrolling through Twitter and Instagram already. Sometimes I'll sit on my phone for an hour from 8-9am before getting out of bed. What a completely rubbish way to start your day, eh? I'm making a serious effort to ban this silly habit of mine so I can start and end my day on a more positive note.
7. Blogging Isn't My Job (aka Stop Putting So Much Pressure On Yourself!)
Since I made the move over a year ago to switch to working full time at pipdig (which I co-own with my boyfriend), it's definitely taken me a while to remember that this blog is no longer my job. For a while it was my main source of income, but over the last 6 months or so I haven't worked on any sponsored content both on my blog and my Instagram and I intend to do very little going forward unless the ideal collaboration comes along.
Now that I've come around to the idea of this hobby-rather-than-job, I'm actually enjoying posting a lot more. Particularly on Instagram, as there's less pressure to gain followers. I would like to go back to more old school blogging, posting the things I want to share rather than feeling like I need to. Blogging has been in my life for almost 7 years now and it is my favourite thing to do, so I'm excited to start posting in a way that I did at the very beginning of my online journey!